5 weeks left. Half Marathon

I was laying in bed the night before the half marathon scared out of my mind. I had only gone 12 miles last weekend and I walked half of it. I thought about my ankle that still felt week and wobbly and the bottom of my other foot that I've spent 3 weeks in physical therapy trying to heal, only... it hasn't done much yet. I thought about how I still felt like I couldn't breathe. Maybe I should go back to the Doctor to see if the pneumonia is gone yet? Well I can't worry about that until Monday. I went to sleep thinking about how cold the weather was supposed to be the next morning.

I woke up at 5:45am. I got dressed in the long sleeve shirt and long pants I had set out for myself last night. The shirt was supposed to keep my heat in and draw the moisture away from my body. I knew I would be freezing before I got going but I would heat up as I started to run. Someone said it should be a pretty easy course. Mostly flat and then down hill. I tried to think positive thoughts as I got in the car.

Zach drove me there. I watched the thermometer drop with every mile farther into the canyon we went. I was dressed for 40 degrees and it looked like it would be more around 30. Snow covered the ground and I realized it was going to be quite a slushy run.

The buses were supposed to leave the Red Moose Lodge at 6:45am and we were a few minutes late. I was worried that we missed it so he drove me to the start and we sat in the warm car until someone came and tapped on the window asking us to move. The buses were on their way. I got out of the car, stood in the snow and watched Zach drive away in the warm car. This is crazy! Who does this? I'm standing in the freezing cold, my feet getting wet in the snow and now I realize there's quite a gust of wind coming off the mountain blowing snow right on me. Nice.

A few other people trickled in the same way I did and then finally the buses came. Everyone filed out of the buses and we made our way down stream to the starting line. We all kind of huddled together, maybe to be warmer or maybe to brace ourselves against the winds. Zach's Uncle Stan comes by me and we talk. He talks me into wearing a long sleeved shirt on top that he had brought along in his bag. I accept and am thankful for the extra layer. The count down started and we all moved forward. Everyone seemed to go slower across the start line than in previous races. I took a deep breathe, crossed the line and I was on my own.

13 miles. 13.1 miles. I started with a slow jog. Others were passing me and I tried not to think about it. I'm here to finish not to be competitive.

The first few miles went fairly well. I was getting into a rhythm. I had made up my mind prior that I would walk through every rest stop while I drank, I wanted to stay hydrated. Around mile 3 was the first one. I started walking when I got close, took my water, sipped it while I walked around. I stretched, then started off on a slow jog to get back into the swing of things.

I was behind a girl wearing blue and we had the same stride, the same pace and I stuck with her. We stayed right together. We both had earphones on so never talked but it was nice to have someone to keep tempo with. The winds picked up a little bit and it got a little harder but I was still able to keep my pace. Everything was so beautiful! I took some pictures really quick with my iPhone as I ran past. We came to the second stop and I grabbed my water, walked, sipped and... had to use the restroom. What the...? I had tried to "go" several times before this, at home, and then right before the race started and NOW I have to go? I stepped into the port-a-potty and I couldn't help but feel like I needed to hurry things along, I could hear people passing as I... did my thing. Uuuggghh!! I stepped out, rubbed my hands with hand sanitizer and grabbed some "gu".

Gu. I can't even describe it. I suppose I should have tried it out before one of these races. The idea is that you squirt it in your mouth and it provides some carbs that quickly absorb so you can have instant energy to use. I tore open the packet of gu, squirted half of it in my mouth and then it was kind of stuck. I really didn't know what to do with it. You don't need to chew it, it's not solid. It's not liquid enough to easily swallow. I had this big blob of... of... flubber? Yeah maybe flubber would be a good way to describe it. Thick gel like substance that might be able to bounce off of walls if you threw it. I decided the best way to handle it was to swallow it in one shot. I tried to gulp it down but my gag reflexes kicked in and made it more difficult than I thought. I got it down. I still had half the pack left and now that I knew what to expect I pushed up from the bottom grabbed and pulled the rest out with my teeth and swallowed as quickly as possible. I grabbed more water to tried to make sure it went down the pipe all the way and started on my way again.

I felt behind. I'm sure my "running partner" was way ahead. Zach called around mile 7 and gave some words of encouragement. Talking to him was actually pretty easy. I didn't feel winded while I did it. I decided I could pick up my pace.

There were hills! Whoever said there weren't must live somewhere besides West Kaysville! They obviously don't know what FLAT is. I was actually doing really well on the hills. Some people started walking and I kept going pretty well. I passed a few people and was feeling good. I could see my partner in blue up ahead. Holy Cow! I caught up? That's awesome! About then is when the wind really picked up. It was coming at me from a diagonal. My front left. It was constant but every once in a while it would have this huge burst that I felt might knock me down! The wind picked up specks of snow as it came and it felt like I was getting glittered with snow.

I started chanting in my mind. "My toes are strong, my feet are strong, my ankles are strong..." you get the point. I would end near the top with "my lungs are strong, my heart is strong, my shoulders..." etc... This mental image of each part of my body was helpful. My knees were starting to hurt. I imagined that it was the muscles working hard to be stronger. I came to a set of 2 long hills. I started up the first one and my sister called. "Are you running a race?" "Yes." She was my cheerleader for a moment while I mentally tried to make it up the hill.

The hills were finished! Yay! It's mile 9 1/2 and I turn a corner. Whoa! The wind is coming right at me now and I feel like it's pushing against my body. My muscles are working extra hard. I'm fighting for each step. I decide to walk through one song. That's what I need. I just need a break. I slow to a brisk walk. Even walking is hard. Break time is over and I start running again.

I can feel every muscle in my body. My stomach muscles are feeling sore, my chest, my legs and hips, everything. I get some really hard gusts of wind that blow flakes of snow into my face. I can't keep running against the wind. I need to concentrate on not being knocked down. I decide to walk until mile 12 and then run the last mile. I finally reached mile 12 and started to run. I just couldn't. My body was done. I decided to walk until mile 13 and then I would run the last .1, I just have to cross the finish line in a run.

I finally turn a corner and can see the mile 13 marker and the finish line. I start to run. Wow! I am stiff and sore from head to toe. Everything hurts. Is it supposed to feel this way? I cross the finish line with Zach cheering me on. Yay Zach! I finish in 2:43:31. That's a 12:28 minute mile. Not so bad for the potty break & all! I want to die. I get a drink and keep walking. This is as far as I ever want to run in my life. No marathon for me. I'm done.

I stretch out, get in the car and Zach drives me home. I take an epsom salt bath, ice the parts that hurt the most, take some Aleve, take a nap, I can barely walk. I am for SURE not ever going to run more than that!

The next day. Everything is still sore and stiff. I feel better over all though. I can walk. I find my self debating the marathon still in my mind. I'm half way there! One more training race, an 18 miler, and then I'm there. They say if you can run the 18 miles you can run the 26.2 miles. 18 miles. That's only 5 more than what I just did! Do I want to come this close only to give up? I'm going to have to work my butt off but I think I can do it. I have just over 5 weeks left.