Day 136 of Training: Sick and Tired.

I'm pretty sure that nobody really reads my blogs except my Mom & Sister. So I don't feel too bad about not writing last week but there was nothing really to write about. I mean it... NOTHING. That's why there was no post last week. On the 17th of November I woke up feeling like my head was going to fall off. It wasn't a running day but I had signed up to be with my trainer on that day so I called her at 5am and canceled.

Through this whole thing I'm so afraid that if I stop running, or miss a training day that I'll just stop altogether. Wednesday I didn't feel much better. My head was spinning and felt about 20lbs heavier than normal. My nose was running, my head hurt and my equilibrium was a little off but I decided to run. I figured I could walk the 4 miles if I needed to and I thought that the cold air and running might actually clear up my head. I ran 3/4 of a mile, sat on a curb and called Zach to come & get me. I couldn't breathe, my lungs were burning and I had zero energy. I was supposed to run 3 miles on Thursday. I didn't go. Saturday I had felt worse than ever and I spent a good portion of the day in bed.

Monday, November 23. My head still kills and I do feel better than I did on the weekend but I know I'm not going to be able to run. Tuesday, canceled with my Trainer. Wednesday I got dressed in my warm running clothes, laced up and went outside. The same thing happened. I got about 3/4 mile, turned around and walked home. At least I wasn't sitting on the curb, gasping for air and waiting for my husband to come pick me up this time.

Thanksgiving there was a race in Farmington I wanted to run. I made rolls and pies instead. Today is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I still can't get all the gunk out of my head. I'm doing things and moving around more now but I'm sitting here writing this and feeling real loser like. I know I can't control if I get sick or not but I'm frustrated that I'm not making progress. I'm worried that I might actually be going backwards and I might have to back track a little. I'm worried because I signed up to run a 10K with some friends this next Saturday in Moab. The most I've ran is 6 miles and I haven't ran in 2 weeks. I hope I feel well enough to go. Hopefully this doesn't linger much longer. If anything I've learned that you can't take good health for granted. I miss... breathing. Breathing was nice

I'm not worried about the marathon in May. I gave myself plenty of time for... just in case something like this happened. I don't HAVE to be training until January to be able to run the marathon.

I was starting to get frustrated over the last month because I haven't really lost any weight while I've been doing this. I have a cheat every once in a while but not often enough to totally sabotage my whole plan. I'm eating well, I'm trying to drink my water and I'm working really hard, harder than I ever have in my whole life with trying to get my body in shape. It's been very discouraging to step on the scale and not see one pound of weight loss. I have about 35lbs left that I'd like to get off my body. It was really starting to bug me that I had made no progress with this.

Then in my training for a marathon book I read the next chapter and one of the things it talked about was attaching another goal to my goal of running a marathon. That's what I've done. I need to concentrate on one goal right now. My goal is to run the marathon. That's what I'm training my body to do. I'm not going to worry about losing weight, looking hot in my swimming suit in the Spring or anything else. I'm going to worry about putting one foot ahead of the other until I've ran 26.2.

I noticed that my clothes were getting lose even though I hadn't lost any weight. I finally decided to measure myself and I've lost more than an inch around my ribs, waist and hips. So I HAVE been losing inches! Maybe I've been gaining muscle instead? It doesn't matter though. I'm fully concentrating now on running, feeding my body to run and hydrating my body to run. If I happen to lose weight while I do it than that would be great. If not, who cares anyway! Another goal for another time.

Day 122 of Training.

Yesterday I decided that I should probably go and get me some new running shoes. My knees started hurting a little bit over the last couple of weeks so I thought maybe it was because my shoes were wearing out. While I was at Strider's I decided to get some running clothes to wear in the cold. The long pants and shirts are supposed to be breathable but still keep my heat in somehow.

Today when I woke up and everything was covered in snow I wasn't exactly excited to go out and run in the icey cold but I was curious to see how the clothes would work out. It took me longer to get dressed than usual. The black pants and shirt that I put on were tight to my body and I felt like cat woman after I sucked myself into them... only my body doesn't look anything close to Halle Berry and the sports bra makes it so my chest doesn't look anything like the pointy chested women from the 60's that played the part so well. By the time I got the running shoes, hat and jacket on I felt a lot better about running outside where people could actually see me.

I ran down my street and just like before I could feel my cheeks and nose begin to freeze. I was wondering how people do this! My nose might fall off or get frost bitten with the way I'm feeling right now. Remind me again why I don't live in Hawaii? Cold and I do not agree! After about my first mile I suddenly realized that nothing on my face was cold anymore. I guess when I started to warm up my face did too! Cool!

I took a different route than normal and today was the first day I was running 6 miles. SIX miles sounded like SO MANY MILES today. I was really nervous about it and wasn't sure I could do it. The farthest I've gone so far is 5 and I didn't feel ready to add another mile on but according to the running program I add another mile every week on my long run and supposedly people are able to do this without a problem.

My new route took me past a lot more farms and fields than normal. I discovered that... although I think my scenery is beautiful I get discouraged easily when it's wide spaces like that. You see... when I'm running past houses I can visually tell that I'm going somewhere, I constantly feel how fast (or slow) I'm going and I can SEE the progress I'm making. When I'm running past fields and farms all I can see is how long the road is and there's nothing besides... wheat and hay. There's nothing to visually mark my milestones, nothing to let me know how well I'm doing. The good thing about my route today was that there were a lot more hills that I had to climb, which... although I hated them at the time, it's really great to know that I'm getting a better, more... well-rounded type of run.

About half way I actually started to get hot which meant that the clothes were working. I slipped off the jacket and tied it around my waste to get it out of the way... and also to hide my behind in these skin tight pants.

I came up on the last quarter mile and started to sprint. I don't know why but I started to do that the last couple couple of times. I just start running as fast as I can. The first time I did it I think it was because I still felt like I had so much energy but then... I realized that it was something I wasn't able to do just a little while ago and I think that made it more fun. Now it's just... see how fast I can go on that last little part. The cool part is that I don't get really tired or very easily out of breathe while I do it. If you read my very first blog entry, I talk about how my lungs were burning and I could barely make it to the end of the street and I wasn't even running that fast and I felt like I was gonna die. I sprint as fast as I can through that exact same part that I had trouble with on my first run. I know it doesn't make sense but I do it because I CAN run it now and I can run it FAST. If anything... that right there shows how much stronger and healthier my body is. That's why I'm going to keep doing this and why I think that even though SIX miles sounds like a lot right now... when I look back at where I've been... and what I've accomplished... if I've done this much in 4 months than I have no doubt that I can run 26.2 by May.

Day 117 of Training: Emotions of Food and Motion

Many of you know what a bad running week I had last week. Well I am proud to say that this week was so much better.

I'm still amazed that what I eat & put in my body makes such a difference on how I feel while I run. It also makes a difference on how I feel emotionally through the day, it makes a difference on how much energy I have, it directly affects my self worth level & also how I view myself. I find that if I eat pizza, chocolate & soda I immediately feel like I'm fat, lazy & ugly. I know it doesn't make sense but it's true. If I eat vegetables, fruit, whole grains & good protein I feel energetic & beautiful. I feel like I've already taken the time to take care of myself in one way so I usually wear nicer clothes on those days & my hair & makeup will be done too! You can tell I feel better overall.

I also get more done during the day on the days that I eat right & run. I guess it's because I feel like I already had time to myself and now I can work on my family or the house or take care of whatever else needs attention, I already took care of me. Taking care of me is important... not just to me but to my family. They get a lot better quality mom and wife when I'm in a good mood and more energetic.

I remember about a year ago there were days when I felt like locking myself in the bathroom just so I could have a minute to myself. I was so tired all the time and constantly didn't feel good. I was lucky if I got to take a shower, let alone put on makeup, nice clothes or do my hair. I always felt like I needed more sleep, so the idea of waking up early to exercise sounded awful!

I still have those days once in a while but I'm happy to say that they're the exception now rather than the rule. I know that no matter how tired I am in the morning I will feel more tired through the day if I choose to stay in bed rather than go move my body. It's amazing what has happened over the last year when I finally decided to love myself, take care of myself and make ME a priority. I know that might sound... self absorbed? As a Mom of 4 kids though, I was never thinking about myself. I would get everyone ready for church and my kids would walk out looking like beauty queens and my hair was still half wet. I was the last one to sit down at the table, I was exhausted from taking care of everyone and I felt guilty if I took time out for myself for ANY reason.

I was hoping that all of this would change me on the outside and make me a healthier person but I never knew the changes that would come emotionally or the positive changes it would have on my whole family. It doesn't make sense but it's true. I take care of me first and then everyone else gets taken care of, there's suddenly enough of me to go around!

I've read the book "In Defense of Food". It's a little wordy but very enlightening and will change the way you think about food. It basically says to not eat all that processed stuff. Try to choose REAL food. (Butter instead of Margarine, Whole Grains, etc...) It also says to try to choose foods that have 5 or less ingredients and that has ingredients that you can pronounce and that you know what they are. I've also gone organic and no horomones or pesticides in my food. On the front of the book it says... "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." Does this sound familiar to anyone? It's what I've been told my whole life in the Word of Wisdom only it never seemed that simple before. So I'm standing in the shower the other day and thinking.... "DUH! When did we decide that our scientists knew more about food and what was healthy for us than Heavenly Father does? When did we become SO clever that we could MAKE food be more nutritious for our bodies and less fattening than the vegetables, fruits, grains & animals that Heavenly Father gave to us. When exactly was it that we became smarter than God?" The answer to me is that we're not smarter so I've put away my Cap'N Crunch and candy and although I do have my treats every once in a while my diet does not consist mainly of 100 calorie snacks, breakfast cereal and fake, "No Fat" yogurt made with fake sugars and chemicals used to preserve it. Wow, what a difference I can feel! Amazing.

So I re-did "Week ONE" of my training schedule and it was a night and day difference. I tried really hard last week to eat well and when I ran the 5 miles on Saturday I felt like I could breathe easy, my body didn't get tired and I felt like I could have kept going. Today I started the "Week TWO" of the 16 week training and I have to run 6 miles on Saturday. I hope I can do it... I've never ran more than 5 before. We'll see how it goes.

Day 109 of Training: You are what you eat.

Last week was my "Week One" of the marathon training. The training is 16 weeks, the Marathon is on Saturday, May 15th. I know I'm starting ahead of schedule but I heard people say that sometimes they felt like they were barely able to get through some of the last weeks. I figure that this way I can repeat any of the weeks I feel like I didn't go well. I have 27 weeks so I could do almost all of the weeks twice.

This week I was supposed to run 3 miles Monday, 4 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday & 5 miles Saturday. I did 3 on Monday. Wednesday came around and I couldn't make it over to the gym and it was storming outside so I stayed at home and decided to do 4 miles on my elliptical. OK, so the elliptical is way harder. I was slower at it. Running usually would have taken me 40 minutes to run but the elliptical took 80 minutes to do 4 miles! It seemed like I was on it forever!! I better have been burning a lot more calories. Although the hour & 20 minutes seems bad I should feel pretty good about this. When I first got the elliptical about a year ago I couldn't be on it for longer than 5 minutes. I remember when I hit 15 minutes and I thought that was awesome!

Thursday came around and I got in warm clothes to go outside and run. I warmed up, headed out the door and started running down the street. My nose and cheeks got so cold they were numb, I couldn't feel them. I ran right back in my house... I hadn't gone quite a mile. I decided to do the rest of it on my elliptical. Although I was trying to be faster than yesterday I really wasn't. I was so bored and frustrated I gave up after 1 mile. Only 2 miles today. Discouraging. I opened the Halloween candy I bought and before I knew what was happening I had eaten 4 of those little yummy snickers bars. I think that's like a whole candy bar... so much for working anything off for the day.

Friday was worse. I was up late with Hailey doing homework on Thursday night so I had canceled the session I had scheduled with my trainer at the gym on Friday morning. I was on the run all day helping with Halloween parties at schools, picking up and dropping off kids. We ate Chick-Fil-A for lunch and I got a kids meal with the greasy goodness of the chicken nuggets and waffle fries. Zach took me on a Halloween date. We ate Mexican food and I chose something that came beautifully wrapped in a flour tortilla that had been excellently fried. I drank around 5 large Cokes, my excuse was that I had to stay up late tonight for all the scary ghost stories. I brought with me a bag of Milky Way candies to share with our friends. Through the night I ate 5 of those "fun size snacks".

Saturday started out great. I was ready to eat better and to treat myself better. My kids had let us sleep in. (I know... miracle.) I left at about 9:00am to go run my 5 miles. It started off really rough. Why am I running again? I was hating every step, I felt like I couldn't breathe. My body couldn't handle it today. I pushed myself to keep going, I slowed down my pace to try and catch my breathe. Why can't I breathe? About half way through I felt like I finally had my rhythm but still couldn't get my breathing to be right. It's like I had half the lungs I had before. At about mile 3 I stopped running and had to walk the rest.

That's what happens when I put garbage in my body. When I feed myself crap my body feels it and acts like crap. The great part about running is that you can eat pretty much anything and be OK... pretty much... what I've learned you can't eat if you still want to perform are large amounts of sugar, any kind of soda pop... not even diet and nothing that's been deep fried. The good part though is that when I have a "bad eating day" I'm usually pretty good at turning it all around the next day and just say to myself... well that was nice, now back to real life. That's what I have to do this next week. Just say... well Halloween was nice, now back to real life. I'm re-doing "week one" starting tomorrow. If I want to ever get to do the marathon though I've really got to stop having so many "bad eating" days.

BTW... If I eat fruit, vegetables, whole grains & lean meat I can definitely tell a difference in the way I perform. Hhmmm... maybe because that's what my body really needs! Try it for 30 days and you'll for sure notice the difference when you have a "bad eating" day. Crazy to think I ate all that crap all the time before.