Day 136 of Training: Sick and Tired.

I'm pretty sure that nobody really reads my blogs except my Mom & Sister. So I don't feel too bad about not writing last week but there was nothing really to write about. I mean it... NOTHING. That's why there was no post last week. On the 17th of November I woke up feeling like my head was going to fall off. It wasn't a running day but I had signed up to be with my trainer on that day so I called her at 5am and canceled.

Through this whole thing I'm so afraid that if I stop running, or miss a training day that I'll just stop altogether. Wednesday I didn't feel much better. My head was spinning and felt about 20lbs heavier than normal. My nose was running, my head hurt and my equilibrium was a little off but I decided to run. I figured I could walk the 4 miles if I needed to and I thought that the cold air and running might actually clear up my head. I ran 3/4 of a mile, sat on a curb and called Zach to come & get me. I couldn't breathe, my lungs were burning and I had zero energy. I was supposed to run 3 miles on Thursday. I didn't go. Saturday I had felt worse than ever and I spent a good portion of the day in bed.

Monday, November 23. My head still kills and I do feel better than I did on the weekend but I know I'm not going to be able to run. Tuesday, canceled with my Trainer. Wednesday I got dressed in my warm running clothes, laced up and went outside. The same thing happened. I got about 3/4 mile, turned around and walked home. At least I wasn't sitting on the curb, gasping for air and waiting for my husband to come pick me up this time.

Thanksgiving there was a race in Farmington I wanted to run. I made rolls and pies instead. Today is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I still can't get all the gunk out of my head. I'm doing things and moving around more now but I'm sitting here writing this and feeling real loser like. I know I can't control if I get sick or not but I'm frustrated that I'm not making progress. I'm worried that I might actually be going backwards and I might have to back track a little. I'm worried because I signed up to run a 10K with some friends this next Saturday in Moab. The most I've ran is 6 miles and I haven't ran in 2 weeks. I hope I feel well enough to go. Hopefully this doesn't linger much longer. If anything I've learned that you can't take good health for granted. I miss... breathing. Breathing was nice

I'm not worried about the marathon in May. I gave myself plenty of time for... just in case something like this happened. I don't HAVE to be training until January to be able to run the marathon.

I was starting to get frustrated over the last month because I haven't really lost any weight while I've been doing this. I have a cheat every once in a while but not often enough to totally sabotage my whole plan. I'm eating well, I'm trying to drink my water and I'm working really hard, harder than I ever have in my whole life with trying to get my body in shape. It's been very discouraging to step on the scale and not see one pound of weight loss. I have about 35lbs left that I'd like to get off my body. It was really starting to bug me that I had made no progress with this.

Then in my training for a marathon book I read the next chapter and one of the things it talked about was attaching another goal to my goal of running a marathon. That's what I've done. I need to concentrate on one goal right now. My goal is to run the marathon. That's what I'm training my body to do. I'm not going to worry about losing weight, looking hot in my swimming suit in the Spring or anything else. I'm going to worry about putting one foot ahead of the other until I've ran 26.2.

I noticed that my clothes were getting lose even though I hadn't lost any weight. I finally decided to measure myself and I've lost more than an inch around my ribs, waist and hips. So I HAVE been losing inches! Maybe I've been gaining muscle instead? It doesn't matter though. I'm fully concentrating now on running, feeding my body to run and hydrating my body to run. If I happen to lose weight while I do it than that would be great. If not, who cares anyway! Another goal for another time.